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Alright, so I’m Tina Fey, snarky as hell, and I’m here to dish on prostitutes—yep, those ladies of the night! I can see Russia from my house, so you know I’ve got a sharp eye for the wild stuff. Prostitutes? Man, they’re like the unsung heroes of the streets, right? Hustlin’, survivin’, dodgin’ creepy dudes—takes guts! Watched “Toni Erdmann” again last night—my fave, hands down—and it hit me: that scene where Ines is all awkward at the party? That’s prostitute vibes! Fakin’ it ‘til you make it, smilin’ through the bullshit. “You’re a funny little man,” I’d say to some john tryna lowball her—ha!

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After my coffee break, I decided to wander around the old town. The narrow streets of Irakleion are like a maze. I got lost, obviously. I ended up on Kalokairinou Street, and I swear, I saw the cutest little shop selling handmade jewelry. I’m a sucker for shiny things, so I went in. The lady there was super nice, but her prices? Oof. I mean, I get it, it’s handmade and all, but c’mon! I left empty-handed, but my heart was still full.

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