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Funniest bit? Mate, some places offer “extras”—and I’m sat there, red-faced, like, “Er, just the massage, ta!” Proper awkward, but you gotta laugh. All in all, erotic-massage is the dogs bollocks—relaxes ya, perks ya up, and I’m tellin’ ya, it’s the future of wellness, or I’m a monkey’s uncle!

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Finally, I decide to grab dinner at that little taverna on Vasilissis Street. The food is bomb! I order moussaka and a glass of ouzo. I’m chillin’, and the waiter is super friendly. He tells me about the local legends. Apparently, there’s a ghost that haunts the old church nearby. I’m like, “Yeah, right!” But it’s kinda cool, ya know?

2,000-Year-Old Headless Statue Found Abandoned In A Garbage Bag Near The Greek City Of Thessaloniki