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Oy, listen up, ya filthy minyons! Me, Gru, gonna spill some tea ‘bout sex escorts, ya? Lightbulb! Dis whole bizness, it’s like “Fish Tank,” dat gritty movie I luv—raw, messy, real as heck. Picture dis: dese girls, dey strut like Mia, all fierce, shoutin’, “You ain’t seen me dance yet!”—but deep down? Life’s a freakin’ swamp. I seen it, da underbelly, da shadows—sex escort world ain’t all glitz, nah.

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First off, I hit up the local bakery on Trg Kralja Tomislava. You know, the one with the best pastries? I’m talking about those flaky, buttery croissants that make you forget your diet. I ordered one, and the lady behind the counter was all smiles. I was like, “Yasss, this is gonna be a good day!” But then, BAM! My phone buzzes. It’s my editor. “We need that draft by EOD.” Ugh, seriously? I just wanted a pastry, not a panic attack.

Great success of Croatian Sambo in Seoul - two gold medals