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But here’s the juicy bit—did ya know escorts go way back? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em—courtesans, they called ‘em. Fancied-up company for the rich, struttin’ round like they owned the Colosseum. Blows my mind! Nowadays, it’s all hush-hush, but same game—glitz, grit, and a lil danger. Jimmy, tho, he got me mad once—flaked on a gal pal of mine, left her high and dry. “You don’t wanna know,” he’d say, dodgin’ questions like a damn ninja. Pissed me off—don’t ghost my girls, ya jerk!

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Then, I decided to take a walk by the Drava River. It’s beautiful, honestly. The water sparkles, and the trees are all green and lush. But then, I see this group of kids playing soccer. They’re kicking the ball around, having a blast. I’m thinking, “Man, I wish I could be that carefree.” But then, one of them kicks the ball too hard, and it flies right at me! I ducked just in time. I mean, come on! I’m not a target practice!

Jakov Mlinarevic - bright star of Croatian Sambo