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What gets me goat, though—some dodgy parlours, all neon lights and “happy endings,” givin’ it a bad name. Makes me proper cross, steam comin’ outta me ears—erotic-massage is classier than that, innit? Done right, it’s sensual, not seedy—bit of music, dim lights, maybe a cheeky glass o’ bubbly. Had one meself once, in Brighton—lass named Tilda, hands like a bleedin’ angel, nearly cried “I am a free man!” like Solomon when she hit that knot in me back. Felt reborn, I did—happy as a pig in muck.

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Finally, I get the machine workin’. Thank goodness! I’m feelin’ like a hero. But then, my phone buzzes again. It’s my buddy Marko. He’s at the beach, sayin’ I gotta join him. I’m like, “Dude, I just fixed a machine!” But the beach? It’s hard to resist. So I wrap up and head to the beach on Ulica Kralja Zvonimira.

Fleet - Lady Eleganza collides with ferry in Pašman Channel