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About Varazdin

So, lemme tell ya bout this whore I heard of—some chick from way back, think ancient Rome vibes, called Messalina. Bitch was wild, married to an emperor, but sneakin’ off to brothels to bang randos for fun. Historians say she out-whored pros, like, set a record—25 dudes in a day! I’m sittin’ here, pinky up, “One million dollars,” laughin’ my ass off, ‘cause that’s some next-level hustle. Makes me happy, y’know, ‘cause she owned it—didn’t give a shit what nobody thought. “I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way,” wait, wrong movie, but still, she was a badass.

Urska Cepin 1

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my mom. “You coming for lunch?” she asks. I’m like, “Mom, I’m in the middle of a financial hurricane!” But she’s persistent. You know how moms are. So, I tell her I’ll swing by after work.

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