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Little fact for ya—did ya know this gig’s been around since forever? Like, ancient Greeks were at it, callin’ it “bodywork”—posh, eh? Bet they didn’t have neon signs sayin’ “Happy Endings Here!” back then—makes me chuckle, that! What gets me goin’ is the freedom—no boss breathin’ down your neck, no “synergy” bollocks. Just you, some oil, and a client who’s putty in your hands—literally! “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn,” as *Moulin Rouge!* says, “is just to love”—and mate, this job’s lovin’ with a twist!

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But then, outta nowhere, this lady starts yelling at him. “You ruined my oranges!” she screams. I’m standing there, half-eating my pastry, thinking, “Lady, it’s just fruit!” But she’s going off, and I’m just trying to enjoy my snack.

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