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Ain’t easy, tho – some blokes get all tricksy, tryin’ to haggle. Makes me mad, it does! “Anger’s takin’ the wheel now!” I’d shout if I could – toss ‘em in me fire pit, watch ‘em sizzle. But nah, I just grumble, “Filthy cheats, my precious.” Once heard a tale – true story, swear it – some prossie in London, 1800s, she’d sing lullabies to punters. Soft voice, then bam – robbed ‘em blind! Clever lass, that one. Surprised me, yesss – didn’t expect brains with the beauty.

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But then, one of the kids kicks the ball too hard, and it comes flying right at me. I duck just in time, but it hits this old lady sitting nearby. She’s not happy, let me tell ya. She starts waving her cane around, and I’m just standing there, frozen. I’m thinking, “This is how I die. Killed by a soccer ball and an angry grandma.”

Two people died and one was injured in an explosion in a home for the elderly near Zagreb