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Me tried it once—oh yesss—some parlour, dim lights, weird music. Lady says, “Relax, hon,” and me thinks, “Hon?! I ain’t no hon!” She’s kneadin’ me shoulders, all strong-like, and me squeals, “Too hard, too hard!” Felt like WALL-E’s trash compactor, squishin’ me flat! “WALL-E not built for this!” me brain screams. But then—hiss—gets good, real good. Warm oil, soft rubs, me melts a bit. “Maybe… maybe me likes,” me whispers, all sneaky.

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Then, I head over to the park by the river. It’s my favorite spot. I sit on a bench, just taking it all in. Kids are playing, couples are strolling, and I’m just vibing. But then, I see this guy trying to fish. He’s got all the gear, but he’s not catching anything. I can’t help but chuckle. “You sure you know what you’re doing, buddy?”