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What pisses me off? When they rush it! Like, slow down, lady, I ain’t a burger! Happy? Oh, when they hit that spot—y’know, lower back—pure bliss! Surprised me how some use funky oils, smells like Marge’s kitchen gone rogue. “You’re either on the bus or off it,” Doc’d say—erotic-massage is ON the bus, man!

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The following is a summary of the legislative and other matters to come before the Wilsonville City Council a.

I rush over, ‘cause that’s what I do. Turns out, he’s fine, just a little shaken. But then, I see it—his phone’s ringing like crazy. It’s on the passenger seat, and I’m like, “Dude, you gonna get that?” He just stares at it, like it’s a bomb or something. I pick it up, and it’s his mom. Classic. I hand it to him, and he’s all sheepish. “Thanks, man.”