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But ugh, the fakes, the ghosts! Chatted a gal, hot pics, then—poof! Gone, like smoke over Mount Doom. Pissed me off, it did! Wasted me time, me hopes. And the creeps, hissing “send nudes” fast as orcs runnin’. “We’re all on the brink,” Jep’d say—brink of madness, me thinks! Still, me loves the thrill, the hunt. Once scored a date, posh dinner, then—bam!—bedroom tango. Felt like a king, yesss, king of the sheets!

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I get there, and it’s wild. Emotions are running high. I see a guy yelling about something—can’t even hear him over the noise. I’m trying to keep the peace, but it’s tough. I’m like, “Guys, let’s keep it civil!” But they’re not having it.