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About Pula

Lemme break it down—erotic-massage ain’t your grandma’s spa day. It’s all sensual, slow strokes, teasin’ spots you didn’t know you had! Did ya know—back in ancient Rome, they’d get freaky with olive oil massages, straight-up orgy foreplay? Facts! I’m out here reseacrhing this shit, and it’s wild—makes me wanna yeet myself into a pile of scented candles! Pro tip: it boosts oxytocin, that love juice hormone—science says you’ll feel like a horny teddy bear after. Truth!

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So, I’m waiting there, sipping my coffee, and I see this group of kids playing soccer. They’re all over the place, kicking the ball like it’s a grenade. I’m laughing, thinking, “Man, I hope they don’t break a window.” But then, outta nowhere, one of them kicks it straight into a tree. I mean, really? A tree?

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