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Alright, so escort, huh? Trees, man, not the kinky kind—get your head outta the gutter! I’m talkin’ *Acer saccharum*, sugar maple, the real deal. As Dr. House, I’d say everybody lies, even these leafy bastards. Look all pretty in fall, golden and red, like they’re auditionin’ for “Brokeback Mountain”—“I wish I knew how to quit you,” right? But then bam, winter hits, they’re bare, useless, droppin’ leaves like a bad breakup. Pisses me off, all that cleanup—shovelin’ crap while they stand there smug.

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Finally, I decide to call it a day. I’m walkin’ back home, drenched and exhausted. But then, I see this little bakery on Ulica Jure Kaštelana. The smell hits me like a freight train. I can’t resist. I go in and grab a slice of their famous štrudla. Best decision ever! It’s warm, flaky, and just melts in my mouth.

Memory Loss: The Campaign to Whitewash Croatia’s WWII Children’s Camps