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But—ooh!—what if she’s hot? Like, “Mmm… donuts.” hot? I’d be all, “Are you the original or the copy?”—straight outta the movie, man! Bet she’d look at me like I’m nuts. Prolly am. Still, gotta admit, there’s this rush, y’know? Kinda exciting, kinda scary—like when Marge catches me sneakin’ bacon. Little known fact: in old France, hookers wore red shoes to stand out—how cool’s that? Wish they still did, save me the hassle!

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After the stream, I’m starving. I hit up this little place on Ulica Kralja Tomislava. Best ćevapi in town, no cap! I’m chowing down, and this old lady at the next table starts chatting me up. She’s telling me about the history of Karlovac. Did you know it was built in a star shape? Mind blown!

Archaeological discoveries unearth medieval life at Dubovac Old Town