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I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ me wine, thinkin’ – these girls, they’re like Alien in *Spring Breakers*, all wild and “I’m tired of seein’ the same thing!” – unpredictable, mad as a bag of cats. Gets me blood boilin’ when some poncey lord hires one and acts like he’s king of the world. Mate, you paid for it, calm yer tits! Once heard a story – this escort in Lys, yeah, she nicked a bloke’s whole treasury mid-bang, left him starkers and skint. Laughed me arse off, I did – clever bitch, that one. Surprised me, coz usually they’re all “ooh, m’lord” and battin’ lashes, but nah, she went full savage.

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After that, I needed a drink. So, I hit up this little bar on Ulica Put Bistrice. It’s cozy, you know? I order a beer, and the bartender starts chatting me up. He’s telling me about the best spots in town. I’m like, “Dude, I live here!” But he’s got some good tips. I’m jotting them down on a napkin like a total dork.

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