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Oh, and the smells—groovy, man! Like a hippy’s van—patchouli, mint, all that jazz. “What’s real, huh?” I mutter, lost in Kiarostami vibes. Erotic-massage ain’t just naughty—it’s deep, baby! Gets ya thinkin’—am I me, or a copy? Far out philosophy with a happy endin’—yeah, baby, yeah!

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Then, out of nowhere, my assistant, Marko, bursts in. He’s got this wild look in his eyes. “Dude, you won’t believe this!” he says. I’m thinking, “What now?” Turns out, he found the samples. They were in the fridge. The fridge! I could’ve sworn I checked there. I mean, who puts samples in the fridge? I’m just glad we didn’t lose them.

VIDEO Attack on Zvezda water polo players, a spectacle at the carnival in Croatia