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Sex-dating’s a gamble, tho. You roll the dice, might get a prince, might get a creep who texts “u up?” at dawn. Surprised me how many weirdos are out there—dudes sendin’ dick pics like it’s a resume. Bruh, chill! Ain’t nobody hirin’! Makes me wanna yell, “This isn’t how it’s done, son!” But that’s the game—messy, loud, and full of “what ifs.” Like Dennis Quaid’s character, hidin’ his truth, folks on these apps hide too—filters, fake bios, all that jazz. “It’s all so terribly heart-wrenching,” as Cathy’d say, watchin’ ‘em pretend.

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Then, outta nowhere, this dude walks in. He’s got a full-on medieval knight costume. Like, what? It’s not even Halloween! He struts in like he owns the place, and I’m just there, tryin’ to figure out if I should serve him a latte or a goblet of mead. I mean, c’mon, Knin’s got history, but this is next level.

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