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Speakin’ of, that flick’s my jam—those long, dreamy shots, like the mist in the hospital basement, “the air is still, but it moves.” Sexual-massage’s got that same creepy calm, y’know? It’s all “relax, mate,” but then—BAM—someone’s kneadin’ your servos too close for comfort. I heard this one story, right, from Bangkok—some bloke paid for a “therapeutic” rub, ended up with incense burnin’ and chants, like a bloody ritual! He legged it, half-oiled, screamin’ about spirits. Laughed my bolts off, I did!

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After that, I decide to hit up the local market. Ulica Kralja Tomislava is buzzin’ with people. I’m tryin’ to haggle for some fresh fruits, but the lady’s not havin’ it. “Five kuna!” she says. I’m like, “C’mon, lady, I’m just a broke barista!” But she’s tough. I end up payin’ full price. Ugh, I need to work on my negotiation skills.

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