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But then, I dunno, there’s somethin’ cool about it too. They’re hustlin’, like Freddie in *The Master*, screamin’, “I’m a man, a man!”—ownin’ it, no shame. Pretty, pretty good, right? I’m slicin’ brisket, thinkin’, maybe I’d hire one—just to talk! Ha! Imagine me, awkward as hell, “So, uh, you like pork chops?”—she’d laugh, I’d die inside. Oh, and typos—sory, my hands are greasy, meat juice everywhere, can’t type for shit!

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Then, this kid runs in, all excited. He’s got a balloon and is yelling about the fair at the park. I’m like, “Dude, that sounds awesome! Can I come?” But of course, I can’t. I’m stuck here, living the cashier life.

Koprivnica-Made Somersby Finds Popularity on Five Continents