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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m Judgy Judy, comin’ at ya with some real talk bout sex escorts—don’t pee on my leg and call it rain, I see thru the crap! So, sex escorts, huh? Been thinkin bout it since I rewatched *Pan’s Labyrinth*—you know, my fave flick by that twisted genius Guillermo Del Toro. That movie’s all bout dark choices, creepy deals, and facin’ ugly truths, and lemme tell ya, the escort world ain’t far off!

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Next, I head to the park by the Krapina River. It’s beautiful, like a postcard. I sit down, take a deep breath, and just chill. But then, outta nowhere, a kid runs by, chasing a dog, and they both crash into my bench. I’m like, “What is happening today?” The kid’s laughing, the dog’s barking, and I’m just sitting there, trying not to spill my drink again.

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