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So, picture this—dim lights, some bird’s whisperin’ sweet nothins, fingers dancin’ on yer back. It’s sensual, mate, proper naughty but classy. Little fact for ya—ancient Greeks were mad for it! Called it “anatripsis,” posh word for rubbin’ ya bits to feel alive. Bet they didn’t have lavender oil tho, haha! Gets me blood pumpin’—happy as a pig in shit! But—fuckin’ hell—once had this geezer masseur, rough hands like sandpaper, pissed me right off! “Sharon!”—mumbled incoherence—shoulda been a soft touch, not a bloody wrestle!

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So, I’m pouring drinks, and the vibe is good. Then, I hear this loud crash outside. I peek out, and some guy on a bike just wiped out on the sidewalk. I’m talkin’ full-on cartoon style, legs in the air, bike on top. Everyone’s laughing, and I’m like, “Dude, you okay?” He gets up, brushes himself off, and yells, “I’m fine! Just testing gravity!” Kutina’s got some characters, I tell ya.

Croatian Journalist Missing for Over a Week