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About Slavonski Brod

Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah. It’s hands slippin’ where polite folk blush. Little fact—ancient Romans were mad for it. Called it “erotic kneading,” bloody pervs. Used scented oils, rose and shit, to get pulses racing. Me? I’d demand wildfire in the mix—burn away the weak. Had this one time, some smirking masseur thought he’d impress me. Pressed too hard—nearly snapped my spine! I was raging, “I’ll see you bow!” Tossed a goblet at his head—missed, sadly.

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After a while, I take a break. I’m sittin’ on the steps of St. Mark’s Church, just chillin’. The view is insane. The mountains, the sea, the whole vibe. I can’t help but smile. This place is magic, ya know? But then, I see a group of tourists takin’ selfies. They’re all like, “Look at the beautiful church!” And I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, but have you seen the view from up there?”

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