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Sex-dating’s messy, tho. Apps got folks ghostin’, thirstin’, playin’ games. One time, I heard a story—some cat drove 3 hours for a hookup, got there, and she was like, “Nah, changed my mind.” Savage! I’d be hot, yo, but he just laughed it off. Me? I’d rather sip my gin, watch *Carol* again, and dream ‘bout love that don’t play me. “I don’t know what I want,” Therese said—shit, that’s sex-dating in a nutshell.

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Anyway, I take my flat white and stroll down to the waterfront. The view is insane! The turquoise water, the boats bobbing around, and the smell of the sea. I’m feeling good again. But then, BAM! I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this group of tourists starts laughing. I mean, really? I’m just trying to enjoy Mali Lošinj, and I’m the entertainment?

Croatia’s Idyllic Island of Losinj Remains off the Radar