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Drove mine last week, mate— fuckin exhaust fell off! Angry? Sure, kicked it, hurt me toe— laughed after, cos it’s so dumb it’s brilliant. “Ta-da!”— like WALL-E showin off trash cubes. Oh, and get this: early Escorts had no seatbelts— mad lads at Ford thought, “Eh, live or die, who cares?” Bit dark, bit funny— vintage chaos, I respect it. Me, I’d mod it, stick a plank roof rack on— carpenter flex, y’see.

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After that little fiasco, I head over to the Mali Lošinj Museum. I’m all about that culture, you know? But the exhibit on the island’s maritime history? Yawn. I’m trying to stay awake, but it’s like watching paint dry. I mean, how many ship models can one person look at? I’m about to bail when I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just standing there, eavesdropping like a total creep. Turns out, they’re fighting over which beach is better—Veli Žal or Čikat. I’m like, “Dude, just go to both!”

Mitropa Cup 2023 starts in Mali Losinj, Croatia