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Me fave bit? When dey hit dat spot—ooh, lawd!—ya tense up, den melt like butter on a hot crumpet. Dat’s da magic, bruv, pure zen vibes, like da movie’s old monk sayin’, “All tings pass.” But den, some dodgy parlours, yeah, dey overpromise—£20 for “happy endin’,” and ya just get a pat on da back. Bruv, I was fumin’, like, “Where’s me fireworks, fam?” Total scam, made me wanna kick off.

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my buddy Luka. He’s all hyped up about the new café on Ulica Kralja Tomislava. Apparently, they got the best coffee in town. I’m like, “Dude, I’m trying to focus on the bulls, not lattes!” But he drags me in anyway. And wow, the smell of fresh coffee hits me like a freight train. I’m suddenly torn between my bullfighting duties and this heavenly brew.

Lovćen tomorrow in Osijek against Nekse