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Here’s the kicker: she collects bottlecaps. Weird, right? Hundreds in her bag, rattlin’ like secrets. Says they’re her “retirement plan.” I’m like, “Girl, you trippin’!” But it’s cute, y’know? Makes her real. Not just some hooker stereotype. Oh, and she stinks at hagglin’—charges ten bucks less than the others. Drives me nuts! “Know your worth, Ruby!” I yell in my head. She don’t listen.

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Finally, the rain stops, and I’m like, “Okay, let’s salvage this day.” I head to the beach, and it’s packed. Families, kids, everyone’s having a blast. I’m just trying to chill, but then I see this kid building a sandcastle. It’s epic! I’m talking towers, moats, the whole deal. I’m like, “Dude, you should be a biochemist!”

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