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Last week, I’m scrollin’, right? This bird’s profile says “no hookups,” but her pics—tits out, arse up. I’m like, “What’s the fuckin’ truth here?” Pissed me off—don’t play coy if you’re in the game! Growling, “You merely adopted the dark.” I’ve been in them mines, love, I spot the bullshit. Sent her a message, “Pick a lane, yeah?” No reply. Typical.

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Finally, the rain stops, and I’m like, “Okay, let’s salvage this day.” I head to the beach, and it’s packed. Families, kids, everyone’s having a blast. I’m just trying to chill, but then I see this kid building a sandcastle. It’s epic! I’m talking towers, moats, the whole deal. I’m like, “Dude, you should be a biochemist!”

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