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So, last week, I tried it—yep, ol’ Bernie got a sexual-massage. Hands slidin’ over me, tension meltin’, and I’m thinkin’, “This is what the workin’ class deserves!” Felt so good I almost yelled, “Tax the rich!” mid-session. The masseuse—god bless her—knew tricks I didn’t expect. Did you know some use hot stones to, uh, “enhance” things? Blew my damn mind! I was happy, floatin’, like Celine sayin’, “It’s like I’m waking up,” from the movie. Pure bliss, folks!

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Finally, I get to work, and it’s chaos. My boss is yelling about some project that’s due yesterday. I’m like, “Chill, man, it’s Novska, not the end of the world.” But he’s not having it. I’m trying to focus, but my mind keeps wandering. I think about that cute café on Ulica Mladosti. I need to go there later.

Novska lista: We have never been and will never be a coalition with the DPS