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But ugh, the stigma—makes me wanna scream! It’s therapeudic—THERA-PUKE-IC—okay, I can’t spell, whatevs! *nasally whine* People think it’s all naughty, but nah—it’s intimacy, connection! Like Toni and his daughter, weird but deep, ya feel me? I’d tell my friend—girl, try it, it’s bananas! Exaggeratin? Maybe, but those tingles? Oof, REAL! *HAH-HAH-HAH!* Oh, and fun tip—scented oils? Lavender’s the bomb, trust! Makes ya melt like buttah! So yeah, sexual-massage—messy, fab, totally me! Whaddya think, huh?

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So, I’m crammed in there, and we hit a bump. I almost faceplant into the lady in front of me. She turns around, gives me this look like I just insulted her grandma. I’m like, “Sorry, lady, not my fault the bus is a rollercoaster!”

Novska lista: Taking away the powers of local self-governments