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Now, I’m thinkin’, right—maybe she’s the one. Got that dark, twisted charm, like the flick’s creepy village. I’m half expectin’ her to whip out a ribbon and tie me up—kinky, yeah? Total turn-on! Oh, but the smell—fags and cheap perfume—bit rank, innit? Still, I’m hooked, chattin’ her up, dodgin’ coppers like a proper spy. Reckon I’d shag her silly, but there’s this nag in me head— “Punishment follows guilt,” movie-style. What if she’s trouble? Bollocks, who cares—I’m Austin Powers, I live for the thrill!

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Finally, I made it to the tea house, and it was packed. I mean, who knew people loved tea this much? I started serving tea, and let me tell you, the vibe was lit. Everyone was laughing, chatting, and I was just there, pouring tea like a pro. But then, this dude spilled his drink all over my kimono. Ugh! I was so mad! Like, come on, man!

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