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About Osijek

So, I tried it once—total impulse. This chick, legit masseuse, had hands like a freakin’ wizard. She’s kneadin’ my back, and I’m like, “Oh, damn, this is HAPPENING.” Little known fact? Back in ancient Rome, they’d do this naked with olive oil—fancy AF! I’m layin’ there, half expecting her to whisper, *“Perhaps it’s better this way,”* all Wong Kar-wai style. Spoiler: she didn’t. But the vibe? Pure cinema, darlin’.

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So, I hit the streets, right? First stop, the old town. You know, the one with those cobblestone streets that make you feel like you’re in a medieval movie? Yeah, that’s the one. I’m strolling down Decumanus, feeling all artsy and stuff. Then BAM! I trip over a loose stone. Classic me. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed. A faceplant in front of tourists.”

Zuccato Gallery | Art in Porec, Croatia