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Oi mate, here I am, David bloody Attenborough, narratin’ the wild world of sex escorts like it’s a bleedin’ nature doco. Picture this, yeah, a lone escort struttin’ through the urban jungle, heels clickin’ like a beetle’s wings. Calm now, rhythmic, see – it’s nature, innit? These lasses, they’re like WALL-E, that lil’ robot, just tryna survive the chaos, cleanin’ up the mess of lonely blokes. “Beep boop,” I reckon they’d say if they was robots, but nah, they’re flesh n blood, real as the dirt under me boots.
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Then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my croissant! Like, excuse me, Mr. Bird, that’s my breakfast! I waved my arms like a madman, and the bird just looked at me like, “Really, dude?” I was so mad, but also kinda impressed. That bird had guts.
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