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Da, comrade, listen up! Erotic-massage, huh? As vet, I see shit. Dogs humpin’ legs, cats in heat—chaos! But this? Humans rubbin’ each other? Wild! Cold, calculated view: it’s mechanics. Muscle tension—gone. Blood flow—up. Stress? Smashed like NATO resistance. Almost Famous, my flick, fits here. "It’s all happening!"—that’s the vibe. Hands slidin’, oil drippin’, mood risin’. Little fact: ancient China did this. Emperors got happy endings—state secret! Pisses me off tho—why so pricey? 5000 rubles for 30 minutes? Robbery! Happy? Oh, when client moans—victory. Surprised me once—dude fell asleep mid-rub. Snoring like bear! I’m thinkin’, “You paid for THIS?”

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my old buddy Marko. We haven’t seen each other in ages! He’s like, “Dude, let’s grab some ćevapi!” And I’m like, “Heck yes!” So we head over to this little joint on J.J. Strossmayera. Best ćevapi in town, no contest. We’re chowing down, and I’m telling him about my latest drama—my cat, Miki, decided to knock over my plant. Like, why, Miki, why?

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