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Then there’s my pal, Joey—met this chick on Bumble. She’s all “let’s hook up quick”—he’s pumped, right? Shows up, she’s got a PowerPoint—*PowerPoint*, man—on “ethical sex-dating.” He’s sittin’ there, horny and confused, while she’s quotin’ stats. I laughed my ass off—surprised me how weird it gets! Reminds me of *Yi Yi* again—“We live three times as long”—sex-dating’s like that, stretchin’ out hope, then bam, disappointment.

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After the dog rescue mission, I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. But then, I get a text from my boss. “We need to talk.” Ugh, why do they always say that? So, I’m like, great, just when I thought today was awesome. I head over to the office on J. J. Strossmayera, and my heart’s racing.

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