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So, lemme tell ya, I got this buddy, Vinny, swears he got a sexual-massage in some shady joint in Queens—said it was “therapeutic,” yeah right! Total BS, but I was dyin’ laughin’. These massages, they’re all bout touchin’ and teasin’, not just rubbin’ out knots. Little known fact—back in ancient Rome, they had these “pleasure slaves” givin’ erotic rubs with oils n’ stuff. Crazy, huh? Makes me wonder who’s trainin’ these masseuses today—some secret sexy guild or what?

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First off, I hit the streets of Solin, right? I’m cruising down Ulica kralja Zvonimira, feeling all good. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be epic!” But then, bam! I step in a puddle. Like, who even leaves a puddle there? I’m soaked, and my shoes are ruined. Great start, right?

University of Nevada, Reno mathematician receives nuclear energy grant