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Personal take? I tried it once—yep, ya heard me! Ol’ Bernie, 83, fumblin’ with Bumble. Matched with a gal, she wrote, “Hey, socialist grandpa!” Laughed my ass off, then deleted the app. Too old for this crap. But the rush? Wild! Heart racin’ like I’m rallyin’ in Vermont. Hooked me for a sec—then I thought, “Nah, this ain’t love.” Reminded me of “Amour”—Anne’s dyin’, Georges whispers, “You’re beautiful,” and I’m like, where’s THAT on Tinder? Nowhere, pal!

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Then, outta nowhere, this dog runs up to me. It’s a fluffy little thing, and it’s got a stick in its mouth. I’m like, “Hey buddy, you lost?” But it just drops the stick at my feet and looks at me like, “Play with me!” So, I throw the stick, and it’s like I’m a dog whisperer or something. The owner comes over, and we start chatting. Turns out, she’s from the next town over, and we hit it off.

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