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Sometimes it’s awkward—slippery hands, weird moans. I’m thinkin’, “Am I a frog or a pancake?” Total mess! But that’s the fun—feelin’ alive, loose, like nobody’s judgin’. Tho, Miss Piggy’d kill me if she knew— “Kermie, you’re mine!” Haha, chill, babe, it’s just a massage! …Sorta.

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Then, outta nowhere, this dog runs up to me. It’s a fluffy little thing, and it’s got a stick in its mouth. I’m like, “Hey buddy, you lost?” But it just drops the stick at my feet and looks at me like, “Play with me!” So, I throw the stick, and it’s like I’m a dog whisperer or something. The owner comes over, and we start chatting. Turns out, she’s from the next town over, and we hit it off.

The 200-year-old tradition of Pokladno Jahanje comes alive in the Croatian city of Osijek