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About Slavonski Brod

I tried it once—yep, frog legs and all! This chick’s profile? Total smokeshow. Bio said “loves green guys.” I’m like, score! We vibe online, she’s flirty, I’m drooling. Then bam—meetup’s a disaster. She thought I’d be, uh, *human*. “What’s reality, anyway?” I mutter, quoting Doc Sportello. She bolts, I’m pissed. Dating apps lie, man! False textures everywhere.

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So, I start pouring drinks. First customer? A couple of American tourists. They’re all like, “What’s the best drink?” I’m thinkin’, “You’re in Croatia, try a rakija!” But no, they want cocktails. Ugh. I whip up some mojitos, and they’re like, “Wow, this is amazing!” I’m like, “Yeah, it’s called fresh mint, folks.”

House Hunting in … Croatia (Published 2017)