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Once met this bird, swear it, workin’ the streets near Birmingham. Tough as nails, she was—called ‘erself Ruby. Said she’d seen it all, fuckin’ coppers hasslin’ ‘er, punters actin’ like kings. Reminded me of that movie line, “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ enemies.” She had enemies, alright—whole bloody world against ‘er. Broke my heart, mate, but she laughed it off. “Ozzy,” she says, “life’s a fuckin’ riot.” Fuckin’ surprised me, that grit—loved ‘er for it.

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Then, we decide to hit the beach. The sun’s shining, and the water’s calling my name. I dive in, and it’s freezing! But refreshing, you know? I’m splashing around, feeling like a kid again. Then, outta nowhere, this kid throws a beach ball at me. I catch it, and I’m like, “Look at me, I’m a pro!” But then I throw it back, and it hits some guy in the face. Oops! Sorry, dude!

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