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Oi mate, so erotic-massage, yeah? What a bloody concept! Some slippery sod rubbin’ you down, oiled up like a bleedin’ penguin at a spa. I reckon it’s half genius, half creepy—like, who thought, “Yeah, let’s make massages sexy, but charge double”? Hah! Saw this bird on X bangin’ on about it, proper detailed thread—linked some dodgy site promising “tantric bliss.” Bollocks! Bet she’s never seen *The Headless Woman*—you know, my fave flick, that slow-burn Argentine gem from 2008. Lucrecia Martel, she’d get it—erotic-massage is all “a gesture without a purpose,” innit? Just hands wanderin’, no bloody point!

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Then I decide to grab a coffee at this cute little place on Ulica Stjepana Radića. I order my usual – a cappuccino, extra foam, because why not? But the barista? She’s like, “Sorry, we’re out of foam.” Out of foam?! What is this, a foam shortage? I’m about to lose it. But I just laugh it off. Gotta keep it cool, right?

Valpovo’s Lost Potential: The Summer Festival