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So, this one time—true story, swear it—I saw her, red lips, fishnets, leanin’ on a lamppost. Proper cheeky, winks at me like I’m some Asgardian prince. Made me chuckle, I’ll admit. “What storm’s this that blows so contrary?”—that’s from the movie, innit? She’s a storm alright, blowin’ through this dull mortal plane. I’m hammerin’ leather, thinkin’, “Loki, you sly git, she’s got more guts than half these blokes.” Respect, y’know? Takes balls to hustle like that.

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After that, I stroll over to the Valpovo Castle. Man, that place is stunning! I mean, it’s like stepping back in time. I’m snapping pics like a tourist. But then, I see this group of kids playing soccer. They’re kicking the ball around, having a blast. I’m like, “Dude, I wanna join!” So, I jump in. Big mistake. I haven’t played soccer since, like, forever. I kick the ball, and it goes straight into a bush. Not just any bush, but the prickliest one. Ouch! My leg is now a pin cushion.

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