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About Split

So, picture this – shady house, red lights, girls gigglin’. Worked me telephone line near one once, swear it! *wiggles eyebrows* Heard blokes stumblin’ out, “Ohh, worth every quid!” Made me chuckle, but also – ugh, grimy! Smelled like cheap perfume and regret, mate. *sniffs air, gags* Reminds me of that film line, “We’re alone, all alone!” – ‘cept, y’know, with more knickers on the floor.

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Finally, I get to the office, and everyone’s staring at me. I’m like, “What? Did I miss the memo on looking presentable?” They just shake their heads. I’m a mess, but whatever. I just had the wildest day in Varazdin.

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