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So, listen up, idiot sandwich! I’ve seen some shit, yeah? Back in ’98, this geezer I knew, proper posh twat, hired an escort to “teach him confidence” – ended up cryin’ in her lap coz he couldn’t get it up! Fuckin’ hilarious, made me piss meself laughin’! Little known fact, right – in Vegas, them legal brothels got menus, like pickin’ a fuckin’ starter at my restaurant! Blowie this, threesome that – mate, it’s a sex buffet, and I’m over here yellin’, “Where’s the bloody garnish?!”

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After that, I decide to stroll down Ulica Vladimira Nazora. It’s quieter there, and I need a breather. I’m thinking about life, you know? How crazy it is. And then I spot this old lady feeding pigeons. She’s got a whole flock around her. I’m like, “Wow, she’s the pigeon queen.” I sit down on a bench, just watching. It’s peaceful.

Full coverage of Beltinci vs NK Varazdin game on Saturday 27th of July at 08:00 including match guide, data analysis, probability analysis, standings, previous meetings and form guide.