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Listen, darling, erotic-massage? Pfft, what a farce! I choose violence when I hear that term, honestly. It’s all so… ugh, touchy-feely, like some hippy nonsense. But fine, I’ll spill. It’s supposed to be sensual, right? Like, oils, dim lights, hands gliding, all that jazz. Reminds me of “Her,” y’know? That movie where Joaquin’s voice seduces Scarlett. “The heart is not like a box,” he says, but erotic-massage? More like a slippery slope!

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After that, I decide to stroll down Ulica Velikogorička. It’s a nice street, full of shops and stuff. I’m just minding my own business when I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, he’s pretty good. I throw him a couple of kuna, and he gives me a nod. I’m feeling generous, you know?

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