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About Osijek

So, I’m thinkin’, right, how’s a bloke s’posed to pick one? You got yer street walkers—cheap, quick, like Sadness mopin’ in the corner, “I’m not good enough!”—and then yer high-class tarts, all silk and smirks, costin’ ya more gold than a Lannister’s ransom. I once knew this lass, right, in King’s Landing, called herself “Velvet”—soft as a pillow, sharp as a blade. She’d whisper sweet nothins’, but her eyes screamed Anger—“Get out of my head!”—and I swear, she’d rob ya blind while smilin’. Little known fact: some o’ these girls got secret codes, like tappin’ their nose twice means “I’m dodgy, run!” Saw it meself—saved me arse once.

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So, I’m cruisin’ down Trg kralja Tomislava, right? The sun’s shinin’, birds are chirpin’, and I’m thinkin’ today’s gonna be chill. But nah, life had other plans. I hit up my usual coffee spot on Ulica bana Jelačića. You know, the one with the best espresso? Yeah, that one. I order my usual, and the barista—let’s call him “Mr. Grumpy”—messes it up. Like, how do you mess up a simple coffee? I’m like, “Dude, I asked for a double shot, not a single sad drop!”

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