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About Osijek

So, whores—whore specifically, let’s say—she’s out there, hustlin’. I picture her like that soldier in the movie, chasin’ somethin’ wild. “The beast hides in the dark,” right? That’s her! Dodgin’ judgment, dodgin’ creeps, dodgin’—me, probably, if I stared too long. Ha! I’d be all, “Ehhh, sorry, lady, didn’t mean to gawk!” Neurotic mess, that’s me. But she’s cool—whore’s got this vibe, y’know? Little known fact—back in old Rome, whores wore blonde wigs. Blonde! To stand out! Imagine that—whore rockin’ a wig, laughin’ at senators. Hilarious, right? Pretty, pretty good hustle.

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After that, I decide to take a walk down Ulica Slobode. It’s a nice street, lined with trees and shops. I pop into this little store, and they’ve got the coolest stuff. I end up buyin’ a random souvenir—a tiny model of the Virovitica castle. I mean, why not? It’s a conversation starter, right?

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