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About Osijek

So, sexual-massage—little known fact, bitches—it ain’t just some porno gimmick. Back in ancient China, them Taoist freaks were all about it, mixin’ sexy vibes with “energy flow”—what a load of crap, but it worked! They’d rub ya down, get ya goin’, and—BOOM—ya feel like a god. Made me angry tho, ‘cause why didn’t I know this sooner? Screw history class, gimme oily hands instead! I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Respect my authoritah, give me that massage NOW!”

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Marko. He’s like, “Meet me at the memorial.” I’m thinking, “Great, more feels.” So, I head over to the Vukovar Memorial Cemetery. It’s heavy, man. You can feel the weight of history. I’m standing there, and I can’t help but think about all the lives lost. It’s a lot to take in.

Serbia with a note of protest against Vukovar's decision to remove the Cyrillic alphabet