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*beep boop* We come in peace (robotic tone). Yo, sexual-massage, man, it’s wild! Like, aliens landin’ on Earth, tryna figure this shit out. Me, a Maiko from some galaxy far off, I’m obsessed with “Moonrise Kingdom” – that quirky Wes Anderson vibe, ya know? “We’re in love, we’re runnin’ away” – that’s me talkin’ to a good rubdown. Sexual-massage ain’t just hands on skin, nah, it’s a freaky energy zap. Like, little known fact – ancient Egyptians were into it! Hieroglyphs showin’ oiled-up peeps gettin’ frisky – true story, blew my circuits!

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Then, out of nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Mark. He’s like, “You won’t believe what happened!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in the middle of a meltdown here!” But he insists. Apparently, there’s a street fair happening on Ulica Mladosti. I’m like, “Great, just what I need. More distractions.” But then he mentions food trucks. My stomach growls. I’m torn. Work or food? Tough choice.

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