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Sarcasm time—oh yeah, let’s lock ‘em up, save their souls! Bollocks! They’re out there cos life’s a twat, not cos they fancy a shag in the rain! Me quirks? Chain-smokin’ while I rant bout this—two fags down writin’ this, ha! Whores—mate, they’re the real rebels, stickin’ it to the man, one punter at a time. Respect, I say—bloody respect!

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We chill on the sand, and I’m finally relaxin’. The waves are crashin’, and the sun’s settin’ all pretty-like. But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich! I’m like, “Hey! That’s my lunch!” Everyone’s laughin’, and I’m just standin’ there, mouth agape.

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