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So, picture this—I’m scrollin Tinder, late night, wired. Coffee’s cold, brain’s buzzin. This chick’s bio says, “No strings, just vibes.” I’m like—hell yeah, simplicity’s sexy. Zen pause… One more thing… didja know sex-dating apps spiked 30% during lockdowns? People were desperate, man! Horniness hit peak levels—true story. Stats don’t lie, I googled that shit. Surprised me, but also—duh—humans gonna human.

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So, I start unpacking the pelts, and I’m all excited. I mean, these are gonna make some killer coats. But then, I notice one of them has a tear. A TEAR! I’m fuming. Like, who does that? I’m not running a discount store here! I call the supplier, and let’s just say, they weren’t exactly helpful. “Sorry for the inconvenience.” Ugh, I could’ve thrown my phone out the window.

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